Two things occurred lately, and they happened extremely quickly: When my eldest kid saw his laptop, he yelled out, “Daddy!” A brand-new Snow White trailer has arrived! Then, in the next two minutes, he yelled out, “Daddy!” What the fuck! These dwarfs!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Disney has done it again, reader. It has chosen to squeeze out a hot fat turd several decades after molding the animation industry into what it is today with gorgeous, likable, avant-garde feature-length fairytales that are now rightfully considered masterpieces. The trailer for Disney’s next live-action Snow White film is out, as anybody who has spent any amount of time counseling my kid will attest. And it’s really terrible.

Can you tell me what’s so bad about it? After the many films, TV shows, books, operas, and video games based on Snow White—including the 1937 and 1961 versions, as well as the 1969 sex comedy The New Adventures of Snow White, the 1987 and 1997 versions, 2005’s The Brothers Grimm, 2012’s Mirror Mirror, 2012’s Snow White and the Huntsman, and 2016’s The Huntsman: Winter’s War—there isn’t really much left to chew on.

Even more importantly, this new Snow White is maybe the most hideous object ever to grace a screen. Using the same lifelike CGI as the latest Lion King remake, it turns the once-helpful forest critters into actual pests when Snow White finds them in the woods. Now let’s talk about the dwarfs. There are dwarves? Oh my.

I hate to be the one to say it, but the new dwarves seem like something a captors might show enemy prisoners of war in an effort to demoralize them. Putting words to things is a challenge. The dwarfs from the 1937 film look as real as they can be thanks to the utilization of contemporary computer-animation techniques, yet I may be completely mistaken. anything doesn’t imply they should have done anything, though; it’s only that they could.

As a present for their mother, the new Snow White dwarfs resemble a serial murderer who sneaked into Disneyland, stole the sculptures from Snow White’s Enchanted Wish, and wrapped them in human flesh. They resemble the work of a beach caricaturist who openly despised the subject of their drawing. Lightning hit them and they sprung to life just before the fire was extinguished; they resemble animatronic characters. They resemble the Sonic the Hedgehog from the much-loathed initial Sonic the Hedgehog trailer. Above all else, it is remarkable how they manage to appear blatantly racist without actually exhibiting racist attitudes. Fuel for nightmares.

I think we’re all accustomed to this point. Disney has now used terrible CGI to damage many great animations in its never-ending quest to tarnish everything that anyone ever liked about them. Tim Burton transformed John Wayne Gacy’s drawing of Dumbo into an Athena poster. Because of how realistically they were rendered in The Lion King, the animals lacked any sort of emotion. Since crabs aren’t exactly recognized for their endearingly vivacious looks, The Little Mermaid turned Sebastian into a real-life crab.

However, Snow White stands for an all-time low. Up until this point, the conventional wisdom held that Disney was launching its live-action remake effort to prevent its characters from falling into the public domain and to prolong the copyright on them. After seeing the new Snow White dwarfs, though, I can’t help but suspect a more sinister plot. It has come to my attention that Disney is intentionally creating these aesthetically offensive films in the hopes that anyone considering a Snow White film in the future will be so horrified by the film’s bulbous and horrific dwarves that they will immediately dismiss the idea. I can think of no other reasonable conclusion to take at this time.

Based on this trailer, Snow White should be buried with The Day the Clown Cried if everything were perfect in the world. If things continue as they are, it will make its way into theaters in March of next year, scaring a new generation of children the way Return to Oz scared us. The bright side is that I have something new to use as a threat with my son: tidy up your room, or I’ll show you the trailer again. I mean, it’s really awful.